The Nice Shoes, Wanna Fock crew, Commandante Agi, and some non-bloggers attended a UCI basketball game on Thursday night. A member of the public relations staff asked our group for volunteers for one of the games played during the game breaks. After much debate, it was decided that The Disgruntled Chemist and I would participate the event. However, in an effort to be fair, I informed the P.R. staffer that I would be drunk and would probably just try and shoot the ball from half court or the 3 point line till I made a basket. She still requested that I participate. Foolish.
The game we were supposed to play was essentially a game of basketball musical chairs. There were 3 participants in the game to start and 2 chairs. In order to stay in the game, you had make a basket and then get back to an open chair. The winner of the game was to be rewarded with free In-N-Out burger. However, I had a few ideas of my own on what kind of game I wanted to play.
The game started from half court. So, mildly intoxicated, I was walked to the center of the court, and threw my initial shocker to the student section. Once the game started, T.D.C and the other participant ran towards the baskets to attempt layups. I decided to casually walk to the free throw line. Once there, I promptly turned around with my back to the basket, did a quick check for wind (note: this was in an indoor basketball arena) and proceeded to heave over my head backwards, reverse granny shot style. I turned around just in time to see that not only had a missed the basket completely, but I clocked a camera square in the forehead with my shot. Luckily for me, the ball ricocheted off of his skull directly to a ball boy, who then quickly passed me the ball.
Feeling particularly inspired, I then threw shockers to every direction of the stadium and walked off, as T.D.C. and random guy had already made their baskets and gotten back to the chairs. As I was walking back to the student section, I then heard an angry fan shout “What’s your problem man?” which was about the funniest thing I’d ever heard. Hey, fuck HIM if he can’t take a joke. But the true greatness of this story is when I handed the ball back, the P.R. staff still gave me a gift certificate for In-N-Out. Hahaha!
So to summarize:
- I was intoxicated on a college basketball court.
- I threw the shocker to several thousand people, multiple times.
- I clocked a camera man in the skull with a basketball
- And I got free In-N-Out burger for doing all this.
