Thursday, December 15, 2005


I went to the mall yesterday, to try and knock out all my non-online Christmas shopping in one shot. I consumed, consumed and then consumed some more. I don't think I've been to a mall in quite a while, maybe 6 months or so. And I can honestly tell you, malls are hell. Malls during Christmas, that's just a special kind of hell. Here's some quick observations...
  • It must have been "Bring Your Baby to the Mall Day" at the local high school, because I must have seen at least a dozen 15 year olds carrying infants around that mall.
  • The other high school girls (who looked like they belonged on that show Laguna Beach) were talking about how they were going to get wasted before some concert. They purchased 1001 Drinking Games. They make their parents proud.
  • Does every tool who doesn't go to college have to work at a cell phone booth in the mall? Is it a requirement?
  • I don't need help! Let me shop in peace!
  • 72inch pool table on sale for $400. I nearly bought it. But dammit, I won't compromise. I want a full sized table.
  • I don't want to create video to send to my family! Stop soliciting me!
  • The movie store I went to was selling the Leg Lamp (see below) from A Christmas Story. Awesome!
  • Yes I'm happy with my cell phone service. Fuck off already!
  • 36 Drinking games in one box. Yeah, I bought it. For me. Charity starts at home.
From now on, all shopping will be done outside of malls. Why didn't I just do all my shopping online? Foolish.