Wednesday, September 28, 2005

And the peasants rejoice.

Today is a good day. Tom Delay is stepping down after being indicted by a grand jury on conspiracy charges. Is it right to rejoice in the misery of others? Probably not, but does anyone deserve to be taken down a notch more than Tom Delay? From his creative redistricting of Texas (a congressional district from Austin to the coast, are you fucking kidding me?!?!), to his side stepping of his the Republicans own rules for leaders and of course comparing himself to Terri Shiavo. The guy is a world class asshole. And he finally is getting what he deserves.

Ahhhhhh. Cheer up Tommy. You can always go get "Hammer"ed with ole Georgie, he's back on the sauce.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Some "scientific" opinions on Intelligent Design

The following conversation took place during bbq lunch last week with my research group. I think it adds a nice international flavor to the debate. Take from it what you will.

Me to entire group: Intelligent Design is that new, nicely packaged version of creationism. It's just more bullshit propaganda.
Other American Grad Student: I think we should at least debate these people. We should try and discuss this with them.
Me: You cannot have a rational debate with irrational people. They don't have facts, they have the 2000 year old tome.
Indian Postdoc: Yeah, what's wrong with these people? Don't they know there is no god?
Me to Chinese Grad Student: Hey Chinese Grad Student, what's your opinion?
Chinese Grad Student: I don't have an opinion! This is stupid.
We all laugh.

So there you go, some opinions from the mysterious "Scientific Community".

(Side note: When I was in Amsterdam, their Education minister was pushing for I.D. to be taught in their classes. I felt compelled to apologize to my Dutch collegues for that particular American Export. They accepted the apology and said something along the lines of "stupid Americans." I agreed with their assessment. )

Monday, September 26, 2005

What exactly counts as incapacitated

So our President is an alcoholic. No debate about that. However, claims he's been sober since his 40th birthday. However, rumors coming out of the Bush Administration as reported in the National Enquirer report that El Presidente de Douche Bag is back on the sauce. While I have serious doubts about whether this is true or not, it raises an interesting question. If the President becomes a full blown alcoholic again, can he legally be removed from power?

Well, a quick search of presidential succession shows that "The 20th and 25th Amendments establish procedures and requirements for the vice president to assume the duties and powers of the president if the president is permanently, or temporarily disabled" Can being a drunk count as being disabled? Any law students who read this should chime in, because this scares the shit out of me.

Warning, football post

After what must have been roughly 10-15 hours of watching football this weekend (because sloth rules), a few observations.

1. This weekend was the first time in a long time that the NFL games were far better than the college games. I can't think of one decent college game that was televised on the west coast.

2. I'm really sick of announcers calling football players warriors. If you are going to call someone a WARrior, then they should actually be someone who goes to war. They are tough guys, but they play a fucking game for a living. Coal miners have a far more dangerous job, but nobody calls them warriors.

3. Check out this story. Here's a summary for those who are too lazy to click the link.

Backed up on their own 1-yard line, the Irish could only call one play -- "pass right." It's what 10-year-old Montana Mazurkiewicz, who died the day before the UW game, asked Charlie Weis to call.
4. AC Patriot kicked my ass in fantasy football. Unless Tony Gonzalez has the greatest game of any tight end in history, and Jason Elam kicks a ton of 50+ yard field goals, I am beaten. Stupid Peyton Manning, THROW A TOUCHDOWN PASS YOU OVERRATED BASTARD!

Friday, September 23, 2005

Must be creative...

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the Bush administration will essentially be considered a dark age for America. Thirty years from now, textbooks will remember this President as not only the most incompetent, but the most divisive president in history. So, now I'm issuing a challenge to my readers: Come up with a nickname for the 8 years of George W. Bush's presidency. Too bad the "Great Depression" is already taken.

Do you like beer?

Then go here. Greatest beer website ever.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Back in the U,S. of A.

Well loyal readers, as many of you already know, I have finally returned to the good ole U.S. And what exactly happened while I was gone, oh nothing much. Just...
Major News
Sandra Day O'Connor retiring from the supreme court.
Hurricane Katrina
William Rhenquist dies
George W. Bush proves yet again that he is a arrogant douche bag who requires too many catnaps..
Texas beats Ohio State.
Oklahoma (those sons of bitches) lose. To TCU!!!! (and then two days after I get back they lose to UCLA)
Almost all my single friends got girlfriends.
Another friend is engaged. (I think current total is at least 4)
My couch was violated by drunken party goers.

Good to see that when I leave the country, the whole place just gets turned upside down. My prediction for next time I leave the country: The U.S. government is overthrown by monkeys. And might I be the first one to welcome the rule of our new monkey lords. (This whole paragraph was just an excuse for the following picture)

Friday, September 09, 2005

Michael "Peter Principle" Brown

I'm sure everyone has heard by now that Michael Brown, director of FEMA, was previously the head of the International Arabian Horse Association. Perhaps that is why it took so long to get supplies to New Orleans. He'd never heard of those big "horseless carriages" that can move supplies faster than an Arabian horse. However, Time just published an article that states that Michael Brown might have lied on his resume. That's right, he is even MORE incompetent than previously suspected.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Blame game MY ASS!

This "blame game" talking point that I keep hearing from the White House is REALLY pissing me off. Our so-called "War President" seems to be the Anti-Truman. His new motto should be "The buck stops ANYWHERE BUT here". So, if the President of the United States is NOT responsible for protecting the American people, then who is? GI Joe? Sgt. Slaughter might be a work of fiction, but so was the federal government's initial response to Hurricane Katrina. Fuck you Mr. President. The government failed on your watch. YOUR WATCH Dubya! Take some responsibility. Asshole.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Brussels rocks my world

So, I went to Brussels this weekend. I figured I'd just go see some of the tourist sites, such as Grand Palace pictured below.

But then I see that there is some sort of parade happening in the central square (pictured below). And booths. Why are there people drinking at these booths? What ever could be going on?

I find an information booth. I pick a pamphlet. Oh-Fucking-Hell. It's Beer Weekend in Brussels! There is so much Belgian Beer EVERYWHERE that my feeble human mind can barely comprehend the sheer beauty of such a site. A smile emerges that goes from ear to ear. I am so happy, I can barely speak. Needless to say, it was time to go to work.

I met some great people at this event. Below is a picture of me and Simon. Simon has been to beer festivals all around the world, including several in good ole California. I comment that I am also a fan of the Rogue Beer, which is prominently displayed on his shirt. We are instant friends.

So much crazy shit went down that night, it would take me too long to write about all of it. Let's just say when you drink like a madman at Belgian Beer Weekend, drunken shenanigans ensue. I love Brussels.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

If you haven't already, go donate some money.

Being in Amsterdam, I've been out of the loop a bit on events in the U.S. I had no idea how bad Hurricane Katrina until I saw Bush's speech last night on BBC World. So, I hope everyone out there donates some money to help out the victims of this disaster.

I'm really glad that my home state Texas, and Houston in particular, are stepping up to help out the victims of Katrina. The Houston Chronicle has setup a webpage for victims who need housing and Astrodome is being used as temporary housing for roughly 23,000 people.

Business/Home owners that stayed in New Orleans are starting to bust out firearms to keep looters out. But alot of the looters are people who are trying to feed their families, so its really hard to hate them. Now, for people who think New Orleans deserved to be destroyed because it is a wicked, sinful city... they should be forced to wade through what's left of New Orleans, fish out the dead bodies of all the victims "who deserved to die", and then go to the families of these victims and explain why they deserved to die. (My first thought was that they should be shot, but that is far too kind for them) ASSHOLES!