Back in the U,S. of A.

Well loyal readers, as many of you already know, I have finally returned to the good ole U.S. And what exactly happened while I was gone, oh nothing much. Just...
Major News
Sandra Day O'Connor retiring from the supreme court.
Hurricane Katrina
William Rhenquist dies
George W. Bush proves yet again that he is a arrogant douche bag who requires too many catnaps..
Sports
Texas beats Ohio State.
Oklahoma (those sons of bitches) lose. To TCU!!!! (and then two days after I get back they lose to UCLA)
Personal
Almost all my single friends got girlfriends.
Another friend is engaged. (I think current total is at least 4)
My couch was violated by drunken party goers.

Good to see that when I leave the country, the whole place just gets turned upside down. My prediction for next time I leave the country: The U.S. government is overthrown by monkeys. And might I be the first one to welcome the rule of our new monkey lords. (This whole paragraph was just an excuse for the following picture)