Monday, February 13, 2006

Dick Cheney shot a guy

Funny. DAMN funny. But definitely not a suprise. Why? Because we know some facts about Dick Cheney.
  • One time, Dick Cheney stabbed a delivery boy just for forgetting his egg rolls.
  • Dick Cheney has died 3 times already. Each time he dies, Donald Rumsfeld performs an obscure pagan ritual on him that brings him back to life. And each time, Cheney's hunger for the flesh of the living becomes more and more unquenchable.
  • Dick Cheney once killed in a man in Reno just to watch him die. And by once, I mean once a week.
  • If you see Dick Cheney, do not approach or taunt him, but keep your distance and call the authorities.
  • Dick Cheney once beat a man to death with a copy of the book of Mormon
  • If Dick Cheney has to tell you one more goddamned time to put the toilet seat back down, he's going to teabag you to death.
  • Dick Cheney is personally responsible for the death of Rock and Roll. His next target: Happiness
  • Dick Cheney once shot a man for snoring too loud
  • When he gets bored, Dick Cheney likes to have a hooker dress up like a hobo, then kill her.
  • If you send Dick Cheney an email forward that he finds insufficiently amusing, he'll kill everyone you've ever loved, but leave you unharmed.
  • Dick Cheney killed Johnny Cash
  • Dick Cheney is making a list, and checking it twice. If you've been nice, he will give you a barrel of oil and an Iraq reconstruction contract. If you've been naughty, he'll crush your skull with a tire iron.
Here are a few new facts that I'm going to add today.
  • Dick Cheney. The only animal smarter than man.
  • Dick Cheney has never "accidentally" shot anything.
  • The Most Dangerous Game was a documentary about Dick Cheney's last vacation.

  • Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney Random Facts, Dick Cheney Shooting