When I grow up...

I want to employ bullies and liars.
I want to mock grieving mothers.
I want to fly in a fighter plane to celebrate my premature ejaculation... whoops I meant subjugation.
I want to purposely mispronounce words like nook-you-lur.
I want to say things like "ya'll", "them folks", and "he's a piece of work" so that people don't realize that I'm filthy fucking rich Ivy League legacy.
I want to pander to some religious extremists and torture other religious extremists.
I want to take away money from old people.
I want to take 5 weeks vacations.

If you haven't guess it by now, when I grow up... I want to be the President of the United States.