Dear Women of America,

Why are you all such whores? Seriously, do you think you are just allowed to have sex? You are not. If you have sex, it is to make a baby for your man. And you better not enjoy the aformentioned sex, or you'll get extra kitchen duty. This letter is to inform you that the government now owns and regulates your ovaries and other assorted inards involved in baby making. As the first step in this plan, we have applied political pressure to force the F.D.A. to reject the application for morning-after pill to be available over-the-counter. We don't care what those liberal hippy scientists and doctors recommend, because all women are whores who tempted Adam.

Sincerely,
The Grand Old Party

P.S. Make me a sandwitch, BITCH!