Happy Solstice

Happy Solstice everybody. Be sure to give presents to your family so that Zombie Jesus doesn't reign down fire and death from his "Sleigh of Doom".


(Merry Christmas to all the Christians who read this blog)

Expect light posting

Starting tomorrow, I'll be visiting some family up in San Francisco and Sacremento. Expect light and mostly likely blasphemous posting for the next week or two.

It's a festivus for the rest of us

Happy Festivus everybody! Down with Christmas!

CONSUME!

I went to the mall yesterday, to try and knock out all my non-online Christmas shopping in one shot. I consumed, consumed and then consumed some more. I don't think I've been to a mall in quite a while, maybe 6 months or so. And I can honestly tell you, malls are hell. Malls during Christmas, that's just a special kind of hell. Here's some quick observations...

• It must have been "Bring Your Baby to the Mall Day" at the local high school, because I must have seen at least a dozen 15 year olds carrying infants around that mall.
  
• The other high school girls (who looked like they belonged on that show Laguna Beach) were talking about how they were going to get wasted before some concert. They purchased 1001 Drinking Games. They make their parents proud.
  
• Does every tool who doesn't go to college have to work at a cell phone booth in the mall? Is it a requirement?
• I don't need help! Let me shop in peace!
• 72inch pool table on sale for $400. I nearly bought it. But dammit, I won't compromise. I want a full sized table.
  
• I don't want to create video to send to my family! Stop soliciting me!
  
• The movie store I went to was selling the Leg Lamp (see below) from A Christmas Story. Awesome!
  
• Yes I'm happy with my cell phone service. Fuck off already!
• 36 Drinking games in one box. Yeah, I bought it. For me. Charity starts at home.
  

From now on, all shopping will be done outside of malls. Why didn't I just do all my shopping online? Foolish.

You've got to be shitting me

Why is it that everytime I start roaming around the MSNBC website, I find something that makes me want to my computer through the window. Tucker Carlson just brings my rage to the surface. Guess what he is plugging this time. Braveheart for Governor of California. That's right, crazy-ass Mel Gibson for Governor of California. You think it's a joke? Me too. But it does have an official website. I'm amazed, but the Republicans have actually found someone even worse than the Governator to run Governor.

Globalization of Science

Landlocked, over at Infinitesimal Perturbations, did a nice post on the Globalization of Science. He raises some good points, including the fact that almost every region of the world is rising in the science world, and the U.S. is about the only country where science is on the decline.

Drastic growth in scientific research is occurring all over the planet, particularly in Asia, but South America, as well (and maybe even Africa someday?). As scientific research has become a globalized effort, it is progressing more rapidly than at any other time in history. Overall, it has never been a more exciting time to do science...except in the case of America where scientific research is on a steady decline.

Today's Bush Administration Pearl of Wisdom

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.

-Donald Rumsfeld

Why do people think we live in a Military Dictatorship?

In so many blog posts (such as this one), I've seen the following line of reasoning...

[Fill in name] was a [fill in military service credentials] in [fill in location of combat experience], so [fill in liberal] need to shut the fuck up, because [fill in liberal] don't know what you are talking about.

Now if they are talking about specific military specialities (combat training, tactics, etc.) then I'm inclined to agree. However, if you are talking about national politics or foreign policy, then you are dead fucking wrong. Why? Allow me to explain in the most simple terms possible.

The United States is a representative democracy in which the civilian branch of the government commands the military, not the other way around. Civilians, not the military, are the in charge of policy. See, it's actually quite simple. If you prefer a country where military service is a prerequisite for shaping policy, perhaps you'd prefer living in China or some nice South American military dictatorship?

Porno for Bibles

The first time I saw a "Porno for Bibles" drive, was when I was at the University of Texas at Austin as an undergrad. A group called "The Knighthood of Buh" would trade you a pornographic magazine if you traded them a bible. As they put it...

The booth was simple in concept; students could bring their bibles (or any religious text whatsoever) to the booth, and receive pornography in exchange. This was meant as a parody of all the groups that offer bibles in exchange for pornography, and many people saw the humor in this. Of course, since religion was included in the joke, some people got really pissed off as well.

They were great. Another time, the K.B. came up with this line of reasoning... If meat is murder, and abortion is murder, then abortion is meat. They then handed out Fetus Cookbooks. But, I digress.

Apparently an atheist group at the University of Texas at San Antonio called Atheist Agenda has revived the Porno for Bibles idea, except this time they call it Smut for Smut. I applaud their campaign. It is a clever, provocative idea that raises some real discussions on morality.

And who would deem this student booth as worthy of being national news? None other than good ole Tucker Carlson.

I'm no Lawyer

But I found this article at Slate really entertaining. It addresses military recruitment at law schools. Go check it out.

What would Jesus do to us heathen Evolutionists?

Probably not beat the shit out of us on the side of the road. Unfortunately for Professor Paul Mirecki, a professor of Religious Studies who is highly critical of Christian Fundamentalists and creationism, some followers of Christ prefer talking with their fists. Professor Mirecki was hospitalized after receiving a roadside beating. Should we really be suprised though, he does teach at the University of Kansas.

Professor Mirecki had planned to teach a course titled "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism, and other Religious Mythologies". However, that didn't quite happen...

Last week, Mirecki asked the university to cancel the class after he created a furor by sending an e-mail to a student organization mocking Christian fundamentalists.

Mirecki had referred to religious conservatives as "fundies," and said a course describing intelligent design as mythology would be a "nice slap in their big fat face." He has apologized for those comments.

It is early in the investigation, and no suspects have been arrested. Maybe it is just one of those everyday roadside beatings in Kansas and has nothing to do with the Mirecki's controversial statements. However, Mirecki did say "I didn't know them, but I'm sure they knew me." Stay tuned for updates on this story.

Nice idea, I really doubt this will work.

I'm sure most of you have read something about these nifty little $100 computers that M.I.T.'s Nicholas Negroponte brainstormed as the main part of an effort to bring the 3rd world countries of the world into the information age.
Cute looking aren't they? But there are some serious concerns as too whether this thing is actually going to acheive its goals. Slate's Cyrus Farivar outlines some of the more technical difficulties, such as possible cost increases, lack of WiFi hotspots in rural areas, and the previous failures of such programs.

I've got a more simplistic criticisms of this programs. Most computer content, particularly web content, is still text based. Most of the graphics are actually just really nice looking text buttons. What I'm getting at is the fact that if you can't read, then this computer is a waste of time. So, let's look at the literacy rates of 4 of the most industrialized countries this computer is targeted at...

• India - 60%
  
• Thailand - 96%
  
• Egypt - 58%
  
• Brazil - 80%
  

Since, these are likely the highest literacy rates for the countries this computer will be marketed in, the literacy rates raise serious concerns about whether these computers will be effective tools for education. Perhaps quality educational software targeted for literacy can be developed in the wide variety of languages these countries represent, but that is yet more money to be added to this initiative.

Looking beyond the whole literacy thing, if you are a starving kid in Africa why the hell do you care about computers? I bet you are far more interested in food. Maybe if they make edible computers....

Tabbed browsing gets better

This new add-on to the Firefox 1.5 browser is just rocking my world. When you roll-over any of your tabs, you get a preview pane of whatever is in the tab. It is pretty damn smooth. If you are a fan of tabbed browsing, I highly recommend it.

Quote of the Day

"He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once." - Albert Einstein

Thank you for advancing stupidity Rita Cosby

As I'm browsing MSNBC, I stumble across this gem of ignorance. Rita Cosby, who has been obsessed with the Natalie Halloway case in Aruba, decided to interview a psychic to see whether or not she could give any insights into the case.

Don't worry, her psychic voodoo crap assures us that those boys who were under investigation are guilty. Well fuck the court system, lets just string them up because Medium Allison DuBois got some bad mojo by LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF THEM! Well, isn't that just fan-fucking-tastic! Maybe we should show her pictures of Iraq so she can find the missing WMD's. Or maybe, a picture of the Whitehouse so she can find all the missing competence.

Thanks for this gem Rita, you win the today's "Advancement of Ignorance" Achievement Award.

If you'd like to know all about Medium Allison DuBois, then check out this website. Oh Allison, you've been a naughty little con-artist.

Urban Dictionary Meme

Just thought of an idea for a new meme. We'll see if it catches on. Here's the meme:
1) Go to Urbandictionary.com
2) Click Random ten times
3) Post your favorite definition out of the random 10

Here's my entry:

wevd

what does "wevd" mean?

wevd is a word invented by me (mortecattiva), and it's used to express your "feeling dirty" while you do cybersex.

yes, little pervert, i said cybersex.

now, what is the meaning of wevd? let me explain it:

what is the animal who express the concept of "dirty"? the PIG.
what does the pig say? he says OINK OINK OINK.

so when you are feeling dirty, you little pervert, you say OINK as well.
but hold on! you are doing cybersex! your right hand is busy! how can you do?
easy, act like on a mirror! if you were a pro typewriter like me you would know you type
O - with the ring
I - with the middle finger
N - with the index
K - with the middle finger
if you do the same moves with your left hand, what letter you obtain?
O - W
I - E
N - V
K - D

WEVD!
this is the solution!
copyright 2004 - mortecattiva

He's making his list and checking it twice.

Santa, why are you so Fascist?


Oh wait! That's not Santa. That's our ole friend Bill O'Reilly. According to his Talking Points Memo for tonight, Bill O'Reilly is publishing his initial list of Media Defamation. After navigating his homepage, which is best described as hot trash wrapped in html, I finally found his list. Would you like to see it? Warning: This is quite an extensive list, some older computers may not have the RAM to handle it. Here it is...

- New York Daily News

- The St. Petersburg Times

- MSNBC

Yes, that's it. 3 news sources. But don't worry, according to Bill many more sites will be listed in the coming months. Come on Bill, make me a star.

My shit is V.I.P.

On my flight from Denver to Orange County Sunday night, I randomly got assigned to sit in first class. Somehow, the cheapest fare on Expedia translated to sitting first class on a 757 for two hours. I quickly came to realize the truth about first class seating: When you are in first class, you are better than anyone sitting in coach. Here's a few reasons why...

Food: Delicious. Best meal I've ever had on an airplane.
Service: Friendly, quick, and attentive.
Chair: More comfortable than most of the furniture in my apartment
Number of crying babies: Zero
Number of annoying, upset, obnoxious fellow travellers in First Class: Zero
My sense of self superiority: Approaching highest known levels

Now, for the first 20 or so minutes of the flight, I made a rookie mistake. I ordered a coke. Notice how I did not include rum, whiskey, or any other assorted alcohol in that sentence. I'm a quicky study however, and quickly turned my sights on the Heineken. It was soon after this however that I realized this was only a two hour flight, and the guy sitting next to me has had 4 Vodka Tonics during the time I've had two beers. I immediately see the wisdom in his choice, and proceed to knock down 2 Gin and tonics before the flight is over. And let me tell you, those flight attendants make a mean Gin and tonic. I felt the enamel peeling away from my teeth as I imbibed those delicous drinks. After the Chemist kindly picked me up at the airport, I finished off the night with a couple beers and passed out.

Now that's how you come home after the holidays.

Reaffirmation: People are stupid.

Just in case my faith in humanity was restored (not likely), this will keep it crushed for a while. During a flight from Hong Kong to Brisbane, this woman thought it would be a good idea to open the Airplane door so she could take a smoke. Yes, the door to exit the plane. Yes, at 30,000-40,000 feet.

Time to join the enemies list

Dear Mr. O'Reilly and Staff,

Please add my blog to your list of "Left wing attack blogs", "Anti-Christmas blogs", and whatever other McCarthy-esque list you wish to build. But don't just take my word for it. Here is why you should add me to your list.

1) I'm not a Christian, but I celebrate Christmas. I'm just in it for the presents, food, and family time.
2) The title of my blog "Secular, Scientific, Socialism, and every other dirty liberal word"
3) My creation of the Random Facts About Dick Cheney Generator. See Following Examples...
One time, Dick Cheney stabbed a delivery boy just for forgetting his egg rolls.
Dick Cheney masturbates with dead babies and live puppies. You figure it out.
Dick Cheney's penis doubles as a dousing rod that detects petroleum.
Dick Cheney can fit seventeen billiard balls in his mouth at once.
Dick Cheney only sees you when you move.
Dick Cheney can eat a beer can and shit out a gun.

To keep it fair and balanced, I should let you know that I've only authored roughly 10 of the facts, but I compiled them together and created the generator. If your staff ever needs some background facts on Dick Cheney, be sure to send them to my blog.

4) I live in California
5) I'm not a Republican. Just admit it Bill, everyone knows who writes your talking points.
6) I disagree with almost everything you say.

How's that working for you? Still not convinced?
I guess I still haven't attacked you personally, maybe that will push me over the edge.
Why the French boycott Bill? Not a wine drinker? Was that hot French woman you took back to your hotel room actually a man? And you knew she was a dude? And you liked it? Don't be ashamed of who you are. Be proud.

Ok, if that doesn't get me on your list, then I don't know what will. Perhaps a reference to the whole sex scandal thing? Don't feel too bad Bill, sex scandals are the new black. Don't get that whole new black thing? Ask the one female intern you haven't sexually harassed, if she exists.

Well, look foward to the publication of your list of the finest reading on the internet.

Rob the Dirty Liberal
Secular, Scientific, Socialism and every other dirty liberal word.
robthedirtyliberal@hotmail.com
http://dirtyliberalwords.blogspot.com/

P.S. Sean Hannity. Why so angry?

Dick Cheney Random Fact Generator Version 1,0

If you look at my sidebar, you will notice that I have added a Random Dick Cheney Fact Generator. Everytime you load my blog from now on, you will be greeted with a random fact about Dick Cheney. I've compiled all the contributions from my blog and from the post at Shakespeare's Sister. The current total of facts about is at 127.


If you wish to add a fact about Dick Cheney to the master list:
1. Click the "Random Facts About Dick Cheney" Link on the sidebar
2. Click the "Add Your Own Entry" Button
3. Type in your Dick Cheney Fact and then Click "Submit"

Warning: If your fact has already been submitted to the master list or just sucks, I will delete it from the Master List.

If you wish to view the entire Master List, just click the "Random Facts About Dick Cheney" link.

Oh, and I plan on doing a post on some statistics about the facts on Dick Cheney. Things along the line of how many supernatural powers does Dick cheney have, etc. Stay Tuned.

Dear Women of America,

Why are you all such whores? Seriously, do you think you are just allowed to have sex? You are not. If you have sex, it is to make a baby for your man. And you better not enjoy the aformentioned sex, or you'll get extra kitchen duty. This letter is to inform you that the government now owns and regulates your ovaries and other assorted inards involved in baby making. As the first step in this plan, we have applied political pressure to force the F.D.A. to reject the application for morning-after pill to be available over-the-counter. We don't care what those liberal hippy scientists and doctors recommend, because all women are whores who tempted Adam.

Sincerely,
The Grand Old Party

P.S. Make me a sandwitch, BITCH!

Just the facts people.

Inspired by the facts about Chuck Norris, I would like to start a facts page on Dick Cheney. I'd like for this to be a collaborative effort amongst all you clever liberal bloggers out there. So, for now just put any contributions in the comments, and if we get enough I'll set up a separate website for them. Here's a few facts from the Chuck Norris site, for inspirational purposes...

• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
• When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
• Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

And here's is my initial contribution to the facts about Dick Cheney

• Dick Cheney has died 3 times already. Each time he dies, Donald Rumsfeld performs an obscure pagan ritual on him that brings him back to life. And each time, Cheney's hunger for the flesh of the living becomes more and more unquenchable.
  
• An idealistic young man once looked directly into Dick Cheney's eyes to ask him a question. Dick Cheney instantly stole his soul and turned him into his man-servant. From that day on, Lewis "Scooter" Libby was never the same.
  
• A Hippie once made fun of Dick Cheney having the word "Dick" in his name. The Hippie was then arrested by the CIA, taken to a secret Eastern European prison where Dick Cheney tea-bagged him for 6 hours until the Hippie died from the mighty stench of Dick Cheney's ball sack.
  
• Dick Cheney fears only two things: Holy Water and Chuck Norris.

Update: The Dick Cheney Random Fact Generator is up. You'll need to load the main page of my blog to see it in the sidebar.

Weekend Sports Review.

In the sports world of Rob the Dirty Liberal, this weekend was quite the success.

First and foremost, my beloved Texas Longhorns obliterated Kansas 66-14. Kansas went into this game with the No. 1 rush defense, allowing roughly 64 yards per game. Texas got 336 rushing yards on them. Texas is just two wins away from the National Championship. Hook em!

My fantasy team is currently leading my opponent by 69 points. My opponent has two players playing tonight, Drew Bledsoe and Terry Glenn. So, assuming that Drew Bledsoe doesn't throw roughly 4 or 5 touchdown passes to Terry Glenn, with both getting alot of yards, victory shall be mine.

The Texans lost to the Colts, but at least they managed to not get completely dismantled.

And the Cowboys are playing on Monday night football against the Eagles tonight, which is usually a fun game to watch. With the return of Julius Jones, and all the shit happening with the Eagles, you gotta like the Cowboys to steal this one on road.

Laziness and Fat. Mmmmmm... tastes like fat

I haven't posted in a while. To be honest, I've had alot on my plate the last few weeks and just haven't felt the inpiration to post anything. However, I couldn't pass this story up when I read it. Here's the link, and here's the preview...

French scientists have identified a protein receptor that resides in the taste buds and may be responsible for sensing fat. As such, this so-called fatty acid transporter, known as CD36, could be to blame for our love of high-fat foods--and could thus serve as a possible target for treatment of obesity.

If the link bears out, CD36 would allow fat to join the five previously identified tastes that govern the experience of food: bitter, salty, sweet, sour and "umami," or savoriness (like the meaty goodness of soup stock).

I've been telling people this for years. Fat=flavor. Stop buying lean meat people!

Confessions of an Insider

The L.A. Times has an Op/Ed contribution from Lawrence B. Wilkerson, who served as chief of staff to Secretary of State Colin L. Powell from 2002 to 2005, entitled the White House Cabal. To say that he sticks it to Cheney, Rummy, and Bushy is putting it mildly. This piece is yet another confirmation of the incompetence of this administration.

The administration's performance during its first four years would have been even worse without Powell's damage control. At least once a week, it seemed, Powell trooped over to the Oval Office and cleaned all the dog poop off the carpet. He held a youthful, inexperienced president's hand. He told him everything would be all right because he, the secretary of State, would fix it. And he did — everything from a serious crisis with China when a U.S. reconnaissance aircraft was struck by a Chinese F-8 fighter jet in April 2001, to the secretary's constant reassurances to European leaders following the bitter breach in relations over the Iraq war. It wasn't enough, of course, but it helped.

More American than Apple Pie

Just found this little fun fact from Scientific American's website.

Q: How many pets in the U.S. are obese?
A: According to a report published last month by the National Academies of Sciences's National Research Council, 25 percent of pets in the U.S. are now obese.

Even our pets are obese. America... FUCK YEAH!

The quote contest.

Ok, so here is the game. We've all dated a Republican at some point in our lives. Come on, just admit it. There is no shame in it. You were young, horny, maybe a little drunk, and what the hell, right? Well, what's the best quote you heard from either the person you dated, his/her friends, or his/her family. Here's mine:

"All those damn homo liberal politicians want to take away my guns"
-Dad of a girl I dated in early college.

Note: This particular guy has a massive gun collection. Must have had at least around 40 guns. Nice enough guy, just had a bit of a crazy conservative streak.

Ok, so now its your turn. I want some good stuff in the comments section for this post.

Must be the catchy title...

Because it sure isn't my quality writing, or massive blog traffic. Go figure.

My blog is worth $33,872.40.
How much is your blog worth?

Laziness leads to Random iPoddery

Here's what happens when I hit "Party Shuffle" on iTunes

1. Se A Cabo - Santana
2. My Girl - Temptations
3. Bye Bye Bird - Sonny Boy Williamson
4. Refugee - Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
5. Rocky Mountain High - John Denver
6. The Gauntlet - Dropkick Murphys
7. Don't Know Why - Norah Jones
8. Know - System of a Down
9. The God That Failed - Metallica
10. Spiders - System of a Down
11. Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
12. Get Dis Money - Slum Village (Hooray Office Space Soundtrack)
13. Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra
14. The End - The Doors
15. Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkel

Debate over the Iraqi Constitution

Scanning my usually news sites today, I found a couple of good op/ed pieces on the Iraq Constitution and the possible consequences of it passing the referendum. The first one I found is an editorial in the N.Y. Times by Hatem Mukhlis, the head of one of Iraq's Sunni political parties. He makes some interesting points about the dangers of the current Iraqi version of Federalism.

It is a tacit understanding in every civilized state that the whole country joins together to defend itself from an outside threat. But not under this Iraqi constitution; the state Parliaments would probably have to approve. In case after case, provincial regulations would overrule federal laws when there is a dispute. The Iraqi Army would not even have the right to enter a state without the approval of that state's Parliament.

In Newsweek, Fareed Zakaria counters such arguments by pointing out that the Iraqi constitution is a success because of the clause that was negotiated at the last minute that allows amendments to the constitution.

The constitution can now be amended at will by the next Iraqi Parliament, which will be elected on Dec. 15. In other words, if the constitution fails, it will be rewritten, and if it succeeds, it can be rewritten.

Mr. Muhklis does address the issue of amendments by stating that divisive damage to the Iraqi people, caused by this constitution, will already be done by the time amendments are passed to fix some of these issues with federalism. Who is right? Who knows. I suppose we will find out over the next fews months.

There's a whole lot of Chinese over there, so we're bugging out

I remember hearing that phrase when I was watching a documentary about the Korean War. The phrase was coined to describe a massive, disorganized retreat of the American army in the face of an overwhelming Chinese force that was approaching from North Korea.

Now, China and India are coming right at the U.S. with a new overwhelming force. Except this time, they are hitting us right in the area which the U.S. has dominated since the end of the Cold War, science and technology. This article details a warning from the National Academy of Sciences which details how quickly China and India are becoming major players in science and technology. The numbers are devastating...

70,000 engineers were graduated in the United States last year, compared with 350,000 in India and 600,000 in China, the committee said in a new report.

When I see numbers like this I can't but think "sounds like the U.S. is bugging out" when it comes to science and technology. Stop cutting the NSF budget asshole.

Fact of the day

Republicans eat babies.*

Just look at this guy! Tell me he doesn't eat babies.




























*I have no evidence, but just look at him!

Milestones and victories

My Blog reached 5000 hits over the weekend. Nothing like milestones to make you feel like you accomplished something. Is this now the hottest blog on the internets? No, I still haven't managed to take that title from the champ.

In other news, Texas finally beat Oklahoma after a five year losing streak, which means that I was drinking before noon on Saturday. Hooray BEER! I'm just glad that Texas beat Oklahoma and is now on track to make a run for the National Championship. Next target: Colorado. My prediction: Colorado stays within a touchdown of Texas for the first half and gets beat by roughly 21 points in the second half.

Also, the Astros made the second round of the playoffs. Time to beat the hell out of the Cardinals. I know what I'll be doing at 5pm today. Beer and baseball. Life is good.

So, in case you haven't realized why the posting has been light the last couple of weeks, my life is consumed by work (yesterday I built case from Duct tape and plexiglass) and sports. Can't we just impeach Dubya already so I can fully focus on football and baseball?

So that's how it works.

Sure we all know how sex works (at least I hope we all do). But how does Pregnancy happen? Find all the answers here and in cartoon form as well.

My favorite Podcast

A few months ago, I discovered this podcast called Skepticality. If you love science and critical thinking, then this is the podcast for you. The show usually consists of a small story that the hosts, Swoopy and Derek Colanduno, discussing some random science topic, and then doing an extended interview with scientists and sometimes even musicians. I really enjoy this podcast and highly recommend it for all the skeptics out there. If you have Itunes, you can get it through the podcast service.

Next comes the hanging chads

So, I read the Chemist's post on how the Iraqis are learning our form of (mis)representative democracy, which is disturbing enough. And then half an hour later, I read that the U.N. has now condemned Iraqi Government for this change to the constitutional charter.

This must be the flowering democracy that ole Dubya was talking about. See if this story sounds familiar. A majority party, ruled by religious conservatives, impose their will on the rest of the country. Sure sounds like a U.S. style democracy.

Remember that whole middle east peace thing?

Oh yeah, the whole universe isn't just about the United States. Well, things are looking really bad in the Gaza Strip right now. Hamas is getting in gun battles with the Palestinian Authority police in the streets of Gaza. It is starting to look like a civil war is going to break out between the P.A. and Hamas. Palestinian police stormed a session of Parliament to demand a crackdown on the militants they are fighting in the streets. They claim the government lacks the will to bring down the militants and enforce the law.

"Our commander died in front of us, and we were running out of bullets," said an officer. "Give us at least bullets to protect people and to protect our stations."

I really hate to admit this, but I think maybe Sharon was right about one thing. Maybe the Palestinians really do need to clean up their own house before a real peace can be achieved.

Warning, incoming Baseball post.

The MLB playoffs have finally arrived! Time to talk some baseball.

American League: Blah blah blah Red Sox. Blah blah blah Yankees. No one outside of the Northeast GIVES A SHIT! The only way this will be interesting is if the Angels beat the Yankees. The White Sox will likely get their asses handed to them on a silver platter. Still, it would be great if they beat the Red Sox. If I have to put up with the Yankees-Red Sox bullshit again, I may shoot myself.

National League: The Astros will beat the Braves. The Astros have the best pitching, by far, and will face the Cardinals in the NLCS. The Cardinals will sweep the Padres. Why? Because the Padres suck. They shouldn't even be in the playoffs. The NL West is an embarassment to the National League. So, the real question is who win the NLCS? I like the Astros, because they essentially will have a starting pitcher for every single game who would be the ace on 90% of the teams in baseball starting every single game. No team in baseball can match the playoff rotation of Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, and Roy Oswalt. Oh, and there is that Brad Lidge guy who is as automatic a closer as they come. Go Astros!

Who the hell is that?

Who? That is the collective question being asked across the country after Dubya announced his latest supreme court nominee Harriet Miers. Once again, Dubya is hooking up one of his buddies with a sweet post. Congrats Harriet, unlike the rest of America, you've now got job security for life. But is she even qualified for such a difficult and important post?

At least we'll still have a woman on the court. (Here I expected another old white guy. Or maybe a Hispanic that looks kinda white)
Well, she's never been a judge before. Hmmmmmmm.
She is Dubya's personal lawyer. Ugh!
Some conservatives don't like her at all. Hooray!
Because she could be completely incompetent for the job. I feel conflicted.

So, will the Democrats rip her to pieces in the confirmation hearings, or will they pull a Roberts (not doing jack shit). I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Let the bloodsport begin!

Update: Firedoglake gives a thorough account of that Republican dirty word: CRONYISM!
Update II: Slate offers a bipartisan selection of blogs screaming CRONYISM.

And the peasants rejoice.

Today is a good day. Tom Delay is stepping down after being indicted by a grand jury on conspiracy charges. Is it right to rejoice in the misery of others? Probably not, but does anyone deserve to be taken down a notch more than Tom Delay? From his creative redistricting of Texas (a congressional district from Austin to the coast, are you fucking kidding me?!?!), to his side stepping of his the Republicans own rules for leaders and of course comparing himself to Terri Shiavo. The guy is a world class asshole. And he finally is getting what he deserves.

Ahhhhhh. Cheer up Tommy. You can always go get "Hammer"ed with ole Georgie, he's back on the sauce.

Some "scientific" opinions on Intelligent Design

The following conversation took place during bbq lunch last week with my research group. I think it adds a nice international flavor to the debate. Take from it what you will.

Me to entire group: Intelligent Design is that new, nicely packaged version of creationism. It's just more bullshit propaganda.
Other American Grad Student: I think we should at least debate these people. We should try and discuss this with them.
Me: You cannot have a rational debate with irrational people. They don't have facts, they have the 2000 year old tome.
Indian Postdoc: Yeah, what's wrong with these people? Don't they know there is no god?
Me to Chinese Grad Student: Hey Chinese Grad Student, what's your opinion?
Chinese Grad Student: I don't have an opinion! This is stupid.
We all laugh.

So there you go, some opinions from the mysterious "Scientific Community".

(Side note: When I was in Amsterdam, their Education minister was pushing for I.D. to be taught in their classes. I felt compelled to apologize to my Dutch collegues for that particular American Export. They accepted the apology and said something along the lines of "stupid Americans." I agreed with their assessment. )

What exactly counts as incapacitated

So our President is an alcoholic. No debate about that. However, claims he's been sober since his 40th birthday. However, rumors coming out of the Bush Administration as reported in the National Enquirer report that El Presidente de Douche Bag is back on the sauce. While I have serious doubts about whether this is true or not, it raises an interesting question. If the President becomes a full blown alcoholic again, can he legally be removed from power?

Well, a quick search of presidential succession shows that "The 20th and 25th Amendments establish procedures and requirements for the vice president to assume the duties and powers of the president if the president is permanently, or temporarily disabled" Can being a drunk count as being disabled? Any law students who read this should chime in, because this scares the shit out of me.

Warning, football post

After what must have been roughly 10-15 hours of watching football this weekend (because sloth rules), a few observations.

1. This weekend was the first time in a long time that the NFL games were far better than the college games. I can't think of one decent college game that was televised on the west coast.

2. I'm really sick of announcers calling football players warriors. If you are going to call someone a WARrior, then they should actually be someone who goes to war. They are tough guys, but they play a fucking game for a living. Coal miners have a far more dangerous job, but nobody calls them warriors.

3. Check out this story. Here's a summary for those who are too lazy to click the link.

Backed up on their own 1-yard line, the Irish could only call one play -- "pass right." It's what 10-year-old Montana Mazurkiewicz, who died the day before the UW game, asked Charlie Weis to call.

4. AC Patriot kicked my ass in fantasy football. Unless Tony Gonzalez has the greatest game of any tight end in history, and Jason Elam kicks a ton of 50+ yard field goals, I am beaten. Stupid Peyton Manning, THROW A TOUCHDOWN PASS YOU OVERRATED BASTARD!

Must be creative...

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the Bush administration will essentially be considered a dark age for America. Thirty years from now, textbooks will remember this President as not only the most incompetent, but the most divisive president in history. So, now I'm issuing a challenge to my readers: Come up with a nickname for the 8 years of George W. Bush's presidency. Too bad the "Great Depression" is already taken.

Do you like beer?

Then go here. Greatest beer website ever.

Back in the U,S. of A.

Well loyal readers, as many of you already know, I have finally returned to the good ole U.S. And what exactly happened while I was gone, oh nothing much. Just...
Major News
Sandra Day O'Connor retiring from the supreme court.
Hurricane Katrina
William Rhenquist dies
George W. Bush proves yet again that he is a arrogant douche bag who requires too many catnaps..
Sports
Texas beats Ohio State.
Oklahoma (those sons of bitches) lose. To TCU!!!! (and then two days after I get back they lose to UCLA)
Personal
Almost all my single friends got girlfriends.
Another friend is engaged. (I think current total is at least 4)
My couch was violated by drunken party goers.

Good to see that when I leave the country, the whole place just gets turned upside down. My prediction for next time I leave the country: The U.S. government is overthrown by monkeys. And might I be the first one to welcome the rule of our new monkey lords. (This whole paragraph was just an excuse for the following picture)

Michael "Peter Principle" Brown

I'm sure everyone has heard by now that Michael Brown, director of FEMA, was previously the head of the International Arabian Horse Association. Perhaps that is why it took so long to get supplies to New Orleans. He'd never heard of those big "horseless carriages" that can move supplies faster than an Arabian horse. However, Time just published an article that states that Michael Brown might have lied on his resume. That's right, he is even MORE incompetent than previously suspected.

Blame game MY ASS!

This "blame game" talking point that I keep hearing from the White House is REALLY pissing me off. Our so-called "War President" seems to be the Anti-Truman. His new motto should be "The buck stops ANYWHERE BUT here". So, if the President of the United States is NOT responsible for protecting the American people, then who is? GI Joe? Sgt. Slaughter might be a work of fiction, but so was the federal government's initial response to Hurricane Katrina. Fuck you Mr. President. The government failed on your watch. YOUR WATCH Dubya! Take some responsibility. Asshole.

Brussels rocks my world

So, I went to Brussels this weekend. I figured I'd just go see some of the tourist sites, such as Grand Palace pictured below.



















But then I see that there is some sort of parade happening in the central square (pictured below). And booths. Why are there people drinking at these booths? What ever could be going on?


















I find an information booth. I pick a pamphlet. Oh-Fucking-Hell. It's Beer Weekend in Brussels! There is so much Belgian Beer EVERYWHERE that my feeble human mind can barely comprehend the sheer beauty of such a site. A smile emerges that goes from ear to ear. I am so happy, I can barely speak. Needless to say, it was time to go to work.

















I met some great people at this event. Below is a picture of me and Simon. Simon has been to beer festivals all around the world, including several in good ole California. I comment that I am also a fan of the Rogue Beer, which is prominently displayed on his shirt. We are instant friends.



















So much crazy shit went down that night, it would take me too long to write about all of it. Let's just say when you drink like a madman at Belgian Beer Weekend, drunken shenanigans ensue. I love Brussels.

If you haven't already, go donate some money.

Being in Amsterdam, I've been out of the loop a bit on events in the U.S. I had no idea how bad Hurricane Katrina until I saw Bush's speech last night on BBC World. So, I hope everyone out there donates some money to help out the victims of this disaster.

I'm really glad that my home state Texas, and Houston in particular, are stepping up to help out the victims of Katrina. The Houston Chronicle has setup a webpage for victims who need housing and Astrodome is being used as temporary housing for roughly 23,000 people.

Business/Home owners that stayed in New Orleans are starting to bust out firearms to keep looters out. But alot of the looters are people who are trying to feed their families, so its really hard to hate them. Now, for people who think New Orleans deserved to be destroyed because it is a wicked, sinful city... they should be forced to wade through what's left of New Orleans, fish out the dead bodies of all the victims "who deserved to die", and then go to the families of these victims and explain why they deserved to die. (My first thought was that they should be shot, but that is far too kind for them) ASSHOLES!

I guess I'm not the only one who hates Pat Robertson

As to be expected on the internets these days, someone has set up their own personal ode to hating Pat Robertson. When you say spout out hate-filled shit filling with a Christian candy coating on the sheer magnitude of Pat Robertson, it is all but inevitable that someone must start up ihatepatrobertson.com. Aside from the great name, it is a pretty good liberal political blog as well and a good way to embrace the procrastination.

Show me the Science, Bitch!

I just read a fantastic OP/ED contribution in the N.Y. Times on evolution. To say that Daniel C. Dennett, a professor of philosophy at Tufts University, puts an old fashion whoopin on Intelligent Design would be an understatement. He uses the example of human eye, a favorite of Intelligent Design proponents, to further his argument of evolution. I think this is one of the smartest articles I've read on the creation crap that is pervading America right now.

To date, the proponents of intelligent design have not produced anything like that. No experiments with results that challenge any mainstream biological understanding. No observations from the fossil record or genomics or biogeography or comparative anatomy that undermine standard evolutionary thinking.

Instead, the proponents of intelligent design use a ploy that works something like this. First you misuse or misdescribe some scientist's work. Then you get an angry rebuttal. Then, instead of dealing forthrightly with the charges leveled, you cite the rebuttal as evidence that there is a "controversy" to teach.

Potheads are the most wise of drug addicts

Do you have a burning question that you cannot find the answer to? Then why not Ask a Pothead. Where else can you get advice on such important matters as the Age of Consent and MILF's?

Mad props to the Recidivist for finding this site.

The obligatory preview of the site...

"Dear Pothead,

I am a 25 year old stoner who smokes every day. I go to work on-time each day. I make good money. I pay my rent on-time each month. I have realley good credit. I live in a nice neighborhood. I drive a fourty thousand dollar car. I am 6 feet1 and 200 pounds with blond hair and blue eyes. I'm not a bad looking man. I shower and shave daily. I dress nicely. I can't find a date to save my life. I can't talk to girls except for through the internet. I freeze. I make sounds that are not words and I smile akwardley. I had a girlfriend for 3 years but thats over now and I havent had any pussey for almost 1 year."
[...]

Guido The Don of the Stoners says: I will do you this favor. I will find you a woman. She will be beautiful with big hips that can bear you many sons. She will cook for you and clean your home. All I ask in exchange is that you're willing to do me a favor some time. I don't need any help now, but down the line I may call on you. Oh... and I would be honored if you would name me godfather of your first born.

A battle with the legend

This is funny. One man's battle with Ernest Hemmingway. Here's a preview...

The South African started to speak and Hemingway cut him off.

“Pour,” he said.

This is when my memory gets a little hazy. We went on with rum for a while, then suddenly there were all sorts of bottles at the table, his gang was drinking up a storm. Toasts were being raised and there was a lot of fooling around, but I tried to keep the focus in the eye of the storm, whatever Hemingway poured or was poured, I doggedly made sure I got the same. They came in a flurry, mostly foreign stuff — brandies, liqueurs and a lot of grappa.

My stomach started to roll a little and when I reached down to loosen my belt a notch I saw the old man grinning at me. I suddenly realized that the wily sonuvabitch had been working an angle. Like an old boxer who’d lost his knockout punch, he’d bulled in close and went to work on my midsection, he’d been working my body with weird liquors that didn’t mix well.

What uncanny accuracy

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Your personality type is SCUAI

You are social, calm, moderately unstructured, moderately accommodating, and intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Providence, Austin, Denver, Salt Lake City, Charlotte, San Antonio, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Indianapolis, Phoenix, Portland/Salem, Nashville, Louisville and these international countries/regions Turkey, Croatia, Slovenia, Caribbean, Puerto Rico, Iceland, Norway, Ukraine, Sweden, Denmark, Spain, Netherlands, Russia, Japan, India

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
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19

The Truth About Killing

I watched one of the best documentaries that I have ever seen last night on National Geographic. The documentary is called "The Truth About Killing" and it stars journalist Grub Smith. Grub Smith was inspired to make this documentary when he heard a shocking fact about the soldiers of World War 2: According to an initial survey of soldiers after the war, it was determined that only 15-2o out of every 100 soldiers were shooting to kill.

The documentary found that more significant investigations into battlefield statistics revealed that only 2% of soldiers on the battlefield were killing the enemy. The other 98% were not cowards. Most were providing support and the few that did fire their guns were shooting wildly and inaccurately. Essentially, only 2% of the male population can bring themselves to consciously kill another human being. Of this 2%, half are psychopaths who feel no empathy for other people and often enjoy killing. The other half of the 2% are people who feel strong empathy with those men in their unit and their drive to protect their men allows them to kill the enemy.

The modern armies of the U.S., Britain, and a few other countries have now developed training techniques to overcome this natural instinct not to kill. Killing is now a reflex response(similar to a Pavlov Response) built into the training programs of infantry soldiers. This is one of the biggest reasons that the U.S. and British armies have had such higher kill rates than their opponents in situations of man to man combat. One example of this given was the U.S. soldiers in Somalia. While 18 American Soldiers died, nearly 360 Somali militia were killed by the American special forces.

I don't know if this documentary will be played in the U.S. If it is, then I think anyone who can should check it out.

Pat Robertson, American Psycho?

The following is my imaginary conversion with Pat Robertson**

Me: Hey Pat, how the commandmants treatin ya?
Pat: I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?
Me: Whoa! Sounds like Commandmant number 6 isn't working so well for you.
Pat: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It can not be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Me: Uhhhhhhh... ok. Is that why you don't like Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez?
Pat: If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it
Me: Yeah, that's what you said on the "700 Club" the other night. Do you really think we should kill the leader of another country?
Pat: Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
Me: Yeah, and we all know how you feel about homosexuals! Did Chavez even go to Yale?
Pat: Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?
Me: Who? Ok whatever. So, would you like to retract your statement about Chavez?
Pat: I have to return some videotapes.
Me: Don't evade the question Mr. Robertson.
Pat: If you don't shut your fucking mouth, I will kill you.




**Not to be confused with Patrick Bateman

Evolution, the series

The New York Times is doing a special series on Evolution this week. Yesterday, the series had stories about the Discovery Institute and the creationist (oops I mean Intelligent Design) point of view. Today, the series features an article on the point of view of scientists. The article talked about why so many scientists are atheists or agnostics, and how those scientists who do believe in god reconcile their beliefs with their job. I've enjoyed the series so far, and highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in the current debate(even though there really is no true debate when one side is just flat out wrong).

My thought of the day:
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. + There are alot of stupid people out there (particularly when it comes to science) = Creationism/Intelligent Design and every other douchebaggery pseudoscience piece of garbage out there.

Sail Amsterdam

This weekend, I went out for the annual Sail Amstedam festival. The festival has tons of boats from around Amsterdam and the various parts of the world. It had tons of ships, fire works, and of course the various shenanigans that go along with one of the biggest festivals of the year for Amsterdam. Here's a few pictures...

Here's Mikhail, a Russian Biochemist in the group I'm working with in Amsterdam, posing in front of the "Ice Maiden".
















That's me chilling with a sailor from the Oman Navy. Their uniforms are awesome.
















Here I am posing in front of all the ships after they turned on all their lights. It was pretty amazing how they lit up all the docks.




















Just chillin during the day in front of some of the ships.

Addiction, thy name is Bop It

As per usual in the lab, after lunch the whole group goes into the coffee room and we all start drinking coffee and tea. Then, an evil was unleashed upon the physicists and biochemists that their years of training could not prepare them for. This toy of darkness is known as Bop It. This stupid little toy plays a little techno beat and tests the speed of your responses to verbal instructions on various levers. It is insanely addictive. I'm sure those of you with little kids probably have seen this toy and stolen it from your kids so you can play it. Here it is pictured below...

well, I am BETTER than you

I've been noticing how all these nut-job zealots in the world are using religion as an excuse to their sense of self entitlement. Examples as follows:

Crazy Jews: "Settlers" who illegally live on occupied land. They think it is their mission from god to live on land that doesn't belong to them.

Crazy Muslims: Mickey Mouse pisses them off. White people piss them off. Shit, they are pissed off at everything. So, they feel that God will give them a shit load of virgins if they blow up themselves and some infidels.

Crazy Christians: They claim that god values single cells over human beings. I grant you, if that single cell happens to be E. coli, they don't care so much. Oh, and because this country has more Christians than anything else, we should teach the bible (oops, I mean intelligent design) in public school. Obviously, God thinks everyone should have to be think and live like Christians.

So, I kind of pissed off because I'm not getting anything. I feel left out of the nutcase entitlement factory. So, I realize my need to come up with some sort of religion so that I can just take whatever I want with a smug sense of entitlement.

Henceforth, I shall begin to worship barbeque ribs. And if I see barbeque ribs, I shall take them. I don't care who they belong to, if you paid for them or not, because they shall soon reside in my belly. Just look at them...

















Mmmmmmm. I shall called my new religion, "Carnivorism". If you'd like to join my new religion all you have to do is follow these 3 easy steps:
1) Drink beer
2) Eat ribs
3) Repeat steps 1) and 2) until heart attack or meat coma

Because I'd rather not talk about anything serious

Here is a post to this gem of a web magazine called Modern Drunkard Magazine. This magazine has everything for that guy/girl who wants to get wasted, or just wants to read about other people getting wasted. One of my particular favorites is the 86 Rules of Boozing. I think I may buy this in poster form for the apartment.

When I grow up...

I want to employ bullies and liars.
I want to mock grieving mothers.
I want to fly in a fighter plane to celebrate my premature ejaculation... whoops I meant subjugation.
I want to purposely mispronounce words like nook-you-lur.
I want to say things like "ya'll", "them folks", and "he's a piece of work" so that people don't realize that I'm filthy fucking rich Ivy League legacy.
I want to pander to some religious extremists and torture other religious extremists.
I want to take away money from old people.
I want to take 5 weeks vacations.

If you haven't guess it by now, when I grow up... I want to be the President of the United States.

I cannot escape it

I found an English language bookstore when I was walking around town on Sunday, so I decided to buy a few books to read during the evening. So, I bought Catch 22 since I haven't read it, and then I thought I should just pick a random fiction book. It was my goal to pick a book that was different from the usual books I read.

So, I see this book called Atomised. It's got a picture of a depressed girl in her underwear on the cover and it won some book award. I figure what the hell. Here's where our little friend irony comes in. One of the main characters of the book is a physicist (sigh), who goes into biology (that sounds familiar), and essentially brings an end to the human race(I hope I don't do that one). Needless to say, I manage to pick the one fiction book in the whole damn bookstore with a main character that has chosen a career path quite similar to my own.

The book itself is actually an excellent book, which is kind of a commentary on the latter half of the 20th century, sex, and the rise of science. The book's characters are pretty horrible people, with the physicist being a character who essentially has almost no human feeling whatsoever. I guess next time I'll just close my eyes, point at a random book, and maybe I'll have better luck in the "book that has no similarity to my life" category.

Swarming on Cindy Sheehan

Things that Cindy Sheehan did NOT do to threaten national security:

• Declare war on a country that did not attack the U.S.
• Lie about weapons of mass destruction
• Tell terrorists to "Bring it on"
• Reveal the identity of a C.I.A agent
  

Things that Cindy Sheehan did do to threaten national security:

• Non-violent political protest
• Never owned the Texas Rangers
• Hold administration accountable for their actions
  

Blogging the pride

So, I went to my first gay pride parade this last weekend. Aside from the schizophrenic weather, constantly switching between intense sunshine and pouring rain every 20 minutes, it was a great spectacle. A few thoughts that occurred to me before I post a few pictures...

• It's hard to enjoy a floats that have good looking women on them when you aren't sure whether or not the "woman" you are looking at is a female, tranny or cross dresser.
• People in Amsterdam really go nuts at this gay pride parade. And the lack of open container laws just kicks ass!
• Straight guys in Amsterdam are way to comfortable wearing pink.
• I have never seen a woman that fat wearing a bikini. The cross dressers on the parade floats are pointing and laughing at her. Wow.
  

Ok, on to the pictures...

Fucking Research

You spend two weeks designing and building a chamber on a Lathe/Mill/Drill Press Multi-tool machine that is a pain in the ass. You wash aforementioned chamber over and over again, and manage to burn your sinuses with chloroform because you are being stupid. You get all your shit together, and then get assigned to the one machine in the lab whose objective lens won't reach the window on the chamber. You then fuck around, yet AGAIN, with the worst Milling Machine in Europe to make a mount to fix this problem. If this doesn't work, I will kill someone.

The above paragraph is for anyone considering a career in science. Just say NO!! (Dammit, why didn't I major in Music)

MySpace gets eaten by Fox

In case you think that's a bad copy of a headline from The Onion, its actually a reference to this story that just came out on CNN. Newscorp, the same corporate behemoth that brought you Fox News and host of other right wing propaganda tools has just purchased MySpace. For anyone out there who doesn't know about MySpace, its a social website where you can whore yourself out all over the world to anyone else who has an account. It's kind of like friendster, but more customizable. For all you MySpace people out there, just remember who will be watching you from now on...

Recess was my favorite subject

And apparently, the same holds true for ole Georgie W. According to CNN, Bush has used a recess appointment to appoint John Bolton (pictured below) as the U.S. Ambassador to the U.N.

It's hard to argue with this appointment when he has such glowing performance assessments such as "a quintessential kiss-up, kick-down sort of guy" and a "serial abuser" of subordinates" as described by Carl Ford, the former chief of the State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research. I'm sure Bolton, our prince of peace, will do us proud at the U.N. with a fist in one hand and a hooker in the other. Go Team Republicans.

Reality Check

Something happened to me today. It has nothing to do with my trip here in Amsterdam. It was an epiphany. Now I can't get it off of my mind. I'm beginning to realize that I am a fucking idiot. Maybe no more of a dolt than anyone else, but a pillock in my own special way. I'm not sure if there is anything I can do to fix this problem. I'm not sure I have the guts/balls/testicular fortitude to really affect a change in who I am. Eh fuck it. I'm going to finish my work, and then get hammered/pissed/drunk off my ass. Perhaps the blissful state of inebriation will give me some answers. Until then, fuck George W. ( I'm angry at me. Perhaps now is not the best time to run off and play with chloroform. Oh well, fuck it)

Update: Ok, feeling a little better now. The one disadvantage of a foreign country is that all the people you normally bitch to are all thousands of miles away.

Bring on the random

Lets see, a few random thoughts for today...

I'm really tired of the airplanes that buzz my apartment at 7am every morning and then continually throughout the morning and afternoon.

I'm enjoying the relaxed style out here alot. Taking 3 hours to eat dinner is pretty nice actually.

Went out on the town a bit for the first time this weekend. Hooray Beer!

Riding on the back wire metal storage bracket of someone's bicycle, drunk at 3 in the morning, for an hour, going halfway across Amsterdam... really hurts your ass.

The Dutch really like fries. Every Dutch meal I've eaten has included a big plate of fries. But putting Mayo on your fries, I DON'T think so.

What a badass

Go check out this story about a blind kid who can play video games. Not only can he play video games, but apparently he almost never loses. He doesn't use any special brail system either, he just plays normal video games. He claims that he uses audio cues and asks alot of questions when first learning a game. Still, it's pretty amazing.

"Those bold enough to challenge him weren't so lucky. One by one, while playing "Soul Caliber 2," their video characters were decapitated, eviscerated and gutted without mercy by Mellen's on-screen alter ego.

"I'm getting bored," Mellen said in jest as he won game after game."

Productivity?

I'm actually making decent progress on the project that I'm supposed to complete while I'm here. I've almost finished the prototype chamber I'm building to mount onto their Optical Tweezer apparatus Why is this blog worthy? Irony. I am a lazy bastard in Irvine, which is boring as hell. Now I'm in Amsterdam, which I think everyone agrees is NOT boring, and now I'm busting ass in the lab. Must be the shitty weather here. I saw the sun for the first time in 10 days this morning.

Roxanne.... you don't have to put out the Red Light (district)

Yikes, I think I was reaching with that title. Anyways, here is a quick photoblog of the Red Light district (Sorry, no pictures of an prostitutes. Maybe I'll take a few on my next trip there.)

First we start off with a trip to the Erotic Museum. It's a funny little museum with lots of strange old pictures and some funny videos.


Next stop, the Hash Marijuana Hemp Museum. They had some pretty crazy looking old pipes and bongs. Plus, they have a big room where they grow pot. I've had a few friends who had maybe one or two little pot plants, but this was a green house dedicated to them. In a word: impressive.

I didn't actually go into here, it was really crowded but this is apparently a famous little coffee shop.

Here is my token canal picture in the Red Light District. I never realized how many canals this city had until I came here.

And here is a picture of Central Station, which is the main hub for the transit system in Amsterdam.

Dutch T.V.

So, I've now had the opportunity to watch some Dutch Television and there are some distinct differences from U.S. television.
1) They show boobs on Television! Ok, in all seriousness, I have seen boobs on various channels and at a variety of different times during the day and night.
2) There are these late night "dating" shows that are like our phone sex commercials in the U.S. I'm not 100% sure that you are buying prostitutes through your television, but that's my guess. I particularly started thinking that when the host of one of these shows took off her panties and put them in the envelope, and then something in Dutch popped on screen. I'm not sure if she was selling them, or if they were a gift to the next caller.
3) MTV here is a somewhat different. Instead of just having rap videos on 24/7, they actually have a nice variety of rock, rap and techno/dance music. And to my amazement, their videos featuring female artists are not contests to see who can wear the sluttiest whore outfit. Sorry Britney.
4) CNN international is FAR better than the CNN we see in America.
5) World and environmental issues are not only in the news here all the time, but they actually emphasize them.
6) Almost forgot, Metallica documentary on MTV is much better uncensored. See item 1)